Don't Mention The War........

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hughesyn
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Re: Don't Mention The War........

Post by hughesyn »

In the interest of fairness to the moderators, I decided to find out if kitchen knives are purely weapons or can actually have a peaceful purpose.
Of course I know we have regular table knives at home to eat with. They are always laid out on the table when I sit down to dinner. If there is no smaller knife for starter outside the main knife, I know Mrs H has had a hard day and not managed to rustle up the full three courses.
However, we aren't talking about mere cutlery. You'd have to really go at someone with a common or garden table knife to harm them. Stake knives are obviously another matter, but that's too subtle for my initial investigation.

Now, the kitchen is not a familiar environment to me. Therefore, I enquired with Mrs H on the subject of knives.

Initially I was nervous to raise the subject, for fear of coming across as a psychopathic killer discussing weapons.
My fear was unfounded however, she was totally unfazed about the 'K' word. Apparently she uses knives on a daily basis to prepare food. I was surprised to learn that we actually had dozens of potentially lethal weapons in our house! She showed me a little rack that stores them. Chateauneuf du Pape! One of them looked large enough to chop up a horse!

Without kitchen knives, apparently our family would either starve, or be forced to knaw our food from the large chunks we buy at the supermarket.

Having investigated thoroughly, admittedly without visiting a professional kitchen, I have to agree with Paul.
Kitchen knives are not all always used as weapons.
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Re: Don't Mention The War........

Post by ddav »

I've been in a kitchen and seen a partridge ,(overcooked) followed by the pan it was cooked in ,used as a weapon and live langoustines (they draw blood too).
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Re: Don't Mention The War........

Post by hughesyn »

Live langoustines used as a weapon?

I can see that being the next craze with teenage hoodies.
As stop and search ramps up, they will resort to carrying shell fish. It's my dinner officer. Here I also have the lemon butter sauce. Can't get nicked.
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Re: Don't Mention The War........

Post by ddav »

Have you ever seen them attached to a person's ear lobe :lol:
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Re: Don't Mention The War........

Post by nbg »

hughesyn wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 5:57 pm Live langoustines used as a weapon?

I can see that being the next craze with teenage hoodies.
As stop and search ramps up, they will resort to carrying shell fish. It's my dinner officer. Here I also have the lemon butter sauce. Can't get nicked.
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Re: Don't Mention The War........

Post by jmarchitect »

This place used to be fun without knives ever being mentioned. Then a couple of pompous prigs became greens and it fell off a cliff. Nowadays, it’s only the off topic posts that warrant reading more than a few lines and ‘sharp implements that are interesting in and of themselves without ever being remotely considered as weapons’ is a favourite off topic of mine, having been brought up to own, respect and use such an implement on a daily basis. But hey-ho, them’s the rules. I’m off to thinly slice some tuna for supper with my trusty Japanese k***e.
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Re: Don't Mention The War........

Post by iain »

https://youtu.be/4JgbOkLdRaE

What about fruit.

Or pointed sticks....
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Re: Don't Mention The War........

Post by smegwina »

iain wrote:https://youtu.be/4JgbOkLdRaE

What about fruit.

Or pointed sticks....
Could be a viciously sharp mango, (need to watch Blackadder)

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Re: Don't Mention The War........

Post by richtel »

smegwina wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 9:07 pm
iain wrote:https://youtu.be/4JgbOkLdRaE

What about fruit.

Or pointed sticks....
Could be a viciously sharp mango, (need to watch Blackadder)

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"Revisionists would suggest that the Battle of Mboto Gorge was fought between the might of the British Army and the peace-loving Pygmies of the Upper Volta, and ended with the massacre of the Pygmies and theft of their fruit.

However, the actual facts are that there were 10,000 Watusi warriors, armed to the teeth with Kiwi Fruit and Guava halves, a lethal combination in those far-off days.

Notable among the brave acts that day was the saving of Gen Sir Douglas Haig from a viciously sharpened mango slice by none other than Capt E Blackadder of the 19/45th East African Rifles. "
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Re: Don't Mention The War........

Post by smegwina »

richtel wrote:
smegwina wrote: Mon Jun 24, 2019 9:07 pm
iain wrote:https://youtu.be/4JgbOkLdRaE

What about fruit.

Or pointed sticks....
Could be a viciously sharp mango, (need to watch Blackadder)

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"Revisionists would suggest that the Battle of Mboto Gorge was fought between the might of the British Army and the peace-loving Pygmies of the Upper Volta, and ended with the massacre of the Pygmies and theft of their fruit.

However, the actual facts are that there were 10,000 Watusi warriors, armed to the teeth with Kiwi Fruit and Guava halves, a lethal combination in those far-off days.

Notable among the brave acts that day was the saving of Gen Sir Douglas Haig from a viciously sharpened mango slice by none other than Capt E Blackadder of the 19/45th East African Rifles. "
That's the one! See how dangerous fruit can be!!!!!

God I love that series. Lord Flashheart is simply one of the greatest characters ever devised.

He wouldn't have put up with a ban on the discussion of sharpened metal implement with a handle, normally used by a chef. Image

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Re: Don't Mention The War........

Post by Kip »

I am glad that you guys have had some fun today at the expense of the Admin Team. All rules suggestions in this thread will be taken under advisement. :silent:

In reference to the subject at hand, on behalf of the Admin team, I would like to say that we did overreact to the the direction of this thread discussion. We did have 2 reports referencing what was happening with the brief discussion of the kitchen implements and perhaps, reacted a bit to quickly.

Our guidelines specifically mention weapons discussions. It is my opinion that the photo that was deleted was justified, but we tended to lump the rest together and tried to make certain that the discussion did not venture into the wrong area. This was a situation we probably could have left alone.

We really do feel that we have been moderating with a softer touch, but have agreed that we reacted to quickly in this instance.

At the very least you guys had a good day of bashing and a few laughs at our expense. Well done!
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Re: Don't Mention The War........

Post by smegwina »

Kip wrote:I am glad that you guys have had some fun today at the expense of the Admin Team. All rules suggestions in this thread will be taken under advisement. :silent:

In reference to the subject at hand, on behalf of the Admin team, I would like to say that we did overreact to the the direction of this thread discussion. We did have 2 reports referencing what was happening with the brief discussion of the kitchen implements and perhaps, reacted a bit to quickly.

Our guidelines specifically mention weapons discussions. It is my opinion that the photo that was deleted was justified, but we tended to lump the rest together and tried to make certain that the discussion did not venture into the wrong area. This was a situation we probably could have left alone.

We really do feel that we have been moderating with a softer touch, but have agreed that we reacted to quickly in this instance.

At the very least you guys had a good day of bashing and a few laughs at our expense. Well done!
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Re: Don't Mention The War........

Post by tikkathree »

Confucius says:

"The ability to laugh at ones' self is what sets you guys on a higher plane of spiritual calmness."

If not Confucius then someone else: if someone else doesn't turn up I'll claim this for myself and for this forum.
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Re: Don't Mention The War........

Post by Lavaine »

I'm glad the mods appreciated the spirit of the thread. I am, however, somewhat concerned that 2 members felt so threatened by a discussion of a kitchen tool that they felt the need to complain to the mods about it. I doubt either of them are willing to come forward, but I'd be interested in hearing what caused them such concern.

Now, about all those threads discussing deadly tridents...
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Re: Don't Mention The War........

Post by ddav »

Thank you to the mods for admitting that they got this one a bit wrong.
I apologised at the time for posting the image of an expensie piece of kitchen kit as I didn't even consider it being an contravention of the rules on weapons. As I said in my pm's at the time. This is a tool of my job, just as a computer is to a journalist. You can do terrible things with both unless you are taught to use them with respect and responsibility .
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