Have a laugh with me, not at me...

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Have a laugh with me, not at me...

Post by missF »

Recently I did this...
DAA297A7-C34C-405C-AC99-FBAA35256D86.jpeg

At the time I told you all I had done it ‘on a whim’, but there was a bit more to it than that...

Odd times over the years on the forum I’ve written about mental illness. Generally associated with watches of course! This is going to be one of those times. I don’t do it - I hope - out of my own narcissism, but as a kind of signal flag that says that if anyone else wants to talk about it I’m open for chats. It’s hard enough dealing with mental illness without having to do it alone.

This time I’m talking about mania and compulsive spending naturally! Manic highs can lead to various degrees of decreased inhibition, which can lead to impulsive spending. I told you this had to do with watches! :lol: A friend recently went through a long manic spell and bought three motor bikes and an SUV, nearly bankrupting him and his wife. My watch is very much low-end manic, but still far beyond what I would ‘normally’ spend.

There’s more to this story that I won’t unwrap too far. The funny thing while we’re talking watches is that I’m now declaring that missF now has a legitimate excuse for buying expensive watches on a whim! :lol: The rest of it is that the bipolar disorder is getting worse and other diagnoses are coming into play. This is now causing me heap loads of anxiety. It’s hard to realise that you can act in the world with so little control- nobody wants to be ‘in the grip’ of anything...

So what am I going to do with this watch? Well, I could get rid of it in fright - sell it quick, run away, try to forget about it. I thought about it but it’s not really my style. In any case I consider myself a bit of a WIS for choosing- in such random circumstances - a watch that is (a) aesthetically gorgeous, and (b) mechanically interesting at the same time! :lol: :lol:
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Re: Have a laugh with me, not at me...

Post by 0uatiOW »

Lindsey, I’m not good at this. I normally leave the emotional stuff to others. I’ll comment on the watches (“Oris is one of my favourite brands, the ice blue dial colour is alluring & the size is perfect for the smaller wrist.”) or I’ll take shelter in a joke, but today I’m making an exception.

You are one of the most prolific & intelligent posters on the Forum; you often introduce imaginative & funny threads, some of which run for days, and from the responses, it is evident that I’m not the only one who appreciates your musings. You’re a great story-teller and it seems to me that this is a safe place for you, an outlet, a distraction. I hope this group continues to provide comfort to you, and that you feel the inclination to stay engaged here.
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Re: Have a laugh with me, not at me...

Post by Soporsche »

Thanks for the post, I suspect there are many that live with mental illness for a time in or throughout their lives. Some in ignorance of its existence, some in denial and some aware. Your openness and the humour which you apply to the situation(s) is both refreshing and entertaining in a 'laugh with you' way.

I also think this post could cause a flurry of tales of impulsive, spontaneous, sometines expensive purchases that if we assessed properly beforehand we may not have made. I declare myself guilty of the above on more than one occasion! 😁
PS. I applied a thanks/like to your post and I know what you think of those :lol:
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Re: Have a laugh with me, not at me...

Post by jkbarnes »

I’ve found the most helpful thing for my mental well being is simply being able to talk about it with others. I’m glad this forum is a safe space for you to come to for support and solace. I know it is for me. Sending you good vibes, strength, and tranquility!!
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Re: Have a laugh with me, not at me...

Post by Amor Vincit Omnia »

For me, the big thing that came out of the 2020 Christmas lockdown was that “it’s OK not to be OK.” Without going into details, I wasn’t OK and, as Andrew says, being able to talk about it with folk who understood me better than I ever thought possible made a huge difference.

Your input into this forum and its value, Lindsey, can never be measured by watches or what they cost.

Nice watch, by the way! And yes, I’ve done that sort of thing too. Watches and holidays! :D
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Re: Have a laugh with me, not at me...

Post by strapline »

Well, given the phrasing above the photo, was I the only one that spent ten minutes looking for a small dent or ding on the bezel or dial? :lol: :lol:

It's not a weakness to have a health issue, more blxxdy bad luck. I wish you well Lindsey, I really do. You are a mainstay of this forum; a person that keeps the place interesting and always worth revisiting. Look after yourself... :D

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Re: Have a laugh with me, not at me...

Post by suicidal_orange »

strapline wrote: Sat May 21, 2022 7:15 amWell, given the phrasing above the photo, was I the only one that spent ten minutes looking for a small dent or ding on the bezel or dial?
No! Then I questioned if Lindsey had bought a macro lens as the closeup looked very sharp...

...

Remember that you're still you Lindsey and whatever diagnosis they pin on you you've probably been living with for a while so no need for extra anxiety. That's probably easier to say as an emotionally retarded depressive realist than it is for an emotional volatile person to live with but it's the best I've got.

At least you're still loving the watch so hopefully that staves off the impulse to buy another and you wont go bankrupt. If you're really worried about the spending store your credit card under Neo's bed so you have a built in half hour cooling off period :lol:
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Re: Have a laugh with me, not at me...

Post by missF »

suicidal_orange wrote: Sat May 21, 2022 7:45 am If you're really worried about the spending store your credit card under Neo's bed so you have a built in half hour cooling off period :lol:
Well this asylum of enablers is never going to be much use at encouraging me to take a cooling off period! :lol:
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Re: Have a laugh with me, not at me...

Post by jkbarnes »

strapline wrote: Sat May 21, 2022 7:15 am Well, given the phrasing above the photo, was I the only one that spent ten minutes looking for a small dent or ding on the bezel or dial? :lol: :lol:
Definitely not! I scrutinized that photo a long time!!
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Re: Have a laugh with me, not at me...

Post by jkbarnes »

suicidal_orange wrote: Sat May 21, 2022 7:45 am Remember that you're still you Lindsey and whatever diagnosis they pin on you you've probably been living with for a while so no need for extra anxiety.
That’s a pretty insightful and brilliant point! I’m adding that to my list of coping strategies for when I feel my anxiety kicking in.
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Re: Have a laugh with me, not at me...

Post by watchaholic »

Trying not to echo sentiments already expressed but I’m glad you find the forum a place you can express your wit, humor and insights. To a non-watch person, nearly all on this forum could be considered manic when making additional purchases. But we all know, multiple watches is not about telling time right?
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Re: Have a laugh with me, not at me...

Post by tikkathree »

Yeah there's fluff on that crystal.... way too much fluff! :lol:

I'd say that there's enough awareness of MH issues in the world to suggest that MissF is unlikely to be alone in any symptoms beyond obsessing slightly about watches and I'm certain that she is not alone at this forum in terms of support.

MissF, what I know and how I know it isn't the point; you have my ears should you ever need them. Big hugs.
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Re: Have a laugh with me, not at me...

Post by iain »

I wasn’t quite sure how to respond when I read this earlier so I thought I’d ponder in on my morning walk and reply later. However I seem to have come back with a lot of questions instead of insightful comments. Sorry.

I’m picking up on the quoted part of your post which implies you are happy to discuss this. I am of course conscious with the start of your next paragraph that all this may be highly personal and not something you want to go into too much detail about with strangers on a public forum.

missF wrote: Fri May 20, 2022 11:26 pm Odd times over the years on the forum I’ve written about mental illness. Generally associated with watches of course! This is going to be one of those times. I don’t do it - I hope - out of my own narcissism, but as a kind of signal flag that says that if anyone else wants to talk about it I’m open for chats. It’s hard enough dealing with mental illness without having to do it alone......

There’s more to this story that I won’t unwrap too far..........

To be honest I’m not sure how to interpret this post so in the interest of learning more about this I’m going to put my questions down. More to show my thought process than to expect a reply. The human brain is one of the most complex things there is and we don’t fully understand it. Also I expect everyone suffering from some sort of illness will exhibit different symptoms and responses so there is definitely not one answer to all this.

When you say you start to exhibit this behaviour, it is positive way to cope with negative feelings, or do you see it as an impulse you’d prefer to control?

Does buying watches help, or does it lead to greater anxiety down the line and an increased sense of regret?

Is this a conscious or subconscious process. Are you aware you are doing it and why you are doing it?

My reason for asking is to help me better understand in future so I can spot behaviours and try to help. If this is a positive thing then it’s fantastic and I’ll happily congratulate you on your new watch.

If it is not a good thing for you to be doing, maybe we can all approach your questions from a different angle. If for example you post asking for opinions on another watch. Maybe us all saying how great it is and that you should buy it might not be the response you really need.

Finally if you don’t know you are doing this when you are in the moment, should we try to look out for you and if we notice this kind of impulsive behaviour from you starting up, would it be appropriate to drop you a PM and check you’re ok?

Sorry if this doesn’t come across very well. I’m trying to better understand this so I can be a better person in future. Please don’t see this as me sticking my nose in where it’s not wanted or needed.
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Re: Have a laugh with me, not at me...

Post by missF »

^^^ thanks iain :D
I have no problems at all with a list of questions. I was a bit unfair in leaving so much unsaid but so much hinted at. It’s difficult to know where to draw lines with stuff like this - I had no intention of this being an offload, cry-for-help or ego-puffing exercise so I shortened the story deliberately.
Still, your questions are good ones and interesting, so here are some thoughts in return....
iain wrote: Sat May 21, 2022 1:02 pm
When you say you start to exhibit this behaviour, it is positive way to cope with negative feelings, or do you see it as an impulse you’d prefer to control?
It’s an impulse, driven by wonky brain chemical pathways during manic episodes that I don’t understand.
Does buying watches help, or does it lead to greater anxiety down the line and an increased sense of regret?
For the most part watch buying doesn’t particularly’help’ reduce the manic impulse. But it’s certainly a safer way to indulge impulsive feelings than too much drink and drugs or physically risky behaviour. But in general most of my watch buys have straightforwardly followed the path of research, but, honeymoon, regular rotation! I have bought watches through the years with more or less impulse control but the Oris is the most ‘in the grip’ / ‘out of control’ I’ve ever felt when buying a watch

Is this a conscious or subconscious process. Are you aware you are doing it and why you are doing it?
In general, psychiatrists would talk about ‘degrees of insight’ into a behaviour. Courts might use similar language. Insight is a spectrum, and it’s possible to have partial insight into a particular behaviour. Partial insight is a strange experience. On this occasion I feel like I had virtually no insight. That in itself isn’t a scary place to be - what’s scary is coming out of that place and realising what you’ve done, then wondering what the potential might be if you were to lose insight again...

My reason for asking is to help me better understand in future so I can spot behaviours and try to help. If this is a positive thing then it’s fantastic and I’ll happily congratulate you on your new watch.

If it is not a good thing for you to be doing, maybe we can all approach your questions from a different angle. If for example you post asking for opinions on another watch. Maybe us all saying how great it is and that you should buy it might not be the response you really need.

Finally if you don’t know you are doing this, should we try to look out for you and if we ntotice this kind of impulsive behvipur from you starting up, would it be appropriate to drop you a PM and check you’re ok?
This is really perceptive and really thoughtful. But in general, no thanks. I’d rather no-one here had to feel like they have to keep an eye on me. Nor do I want to change the way I interact with the forum and buy watches! We all stumble into watch buys in so many different ways, and it’s part of the enjoyment.
PMs are maybe different- I have no problem with someone dropping me a line if they have any concerns about me, but in general I think we should all be prepared to do that for each other anyway. :thumbup:

Sorry if this doesn’t come across very well. I’m trying to better understand this so I can be a better person in future. Please don’t see this as me sticking my nose in where it’s not wanted or needed.
Am happy to talk more if I haven’t explained things very well...
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Re: Have a laugh with me, not at me...

Post by iain »

^^^^ Thanks for the response Lindsay, you’ve certainly helped me understand a little better.
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