The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!

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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!

Post by jkbarnes »

missF wrote: Tue Nov 30, 2021 6:37 pm Slight thread deviation:



8978E94B-BEC6-483E-B541-73A065D50746.jpeg
:lol: :lol: :lol:
:clap: :clap: :clap:

The best yet!
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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!

Post by missF »

Who hides in a bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy....
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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!

Post by Amor Vincit Omnia »

missF wrote: Tue Nov 30, 2021 6:37 pm Slight thread deviation:
That was very good, Lindsey! :clap: :lol:

As we are doing visuals as well it seems, this one is quite well-known but makes me laugh:

5B2885E9-89CE-4BF2-B0CC-30D761D7A15C.jpeg
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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!

Post by richtel »

Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?

Because their days are numbered!
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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!

Post by welshlad »

What do you call a snow monster that has a six-pack?

The Abdominal Snowman
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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!

Post by strapline »

Santa is talking to his Doctor and says, ‘doc, every time I talk with people I can’t stop saying ho-ho-ho, it’s really bugging me.’ The doc looks at him and thinks for a moment before offering, ‘you know, it sounds like you have an ho-ho-hoveractive thyroid.

Des
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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!

Post by richtel »

How much did Santa’s sleigh cost?

Nothing – It was on the house!
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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!

Post by Deks »

Two snowmen stood in a field. One said to the other "do you smell carrots?"
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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!

Post by Amor Vincit Omnia »

Deks wrote: Sun Dec 05, 2021 8:52 pm Two snowmen stood in a field. One said to the other "do you smell carrots?"
We should rightly put you on the naughty step for repeating a joke told on the previous page. However, it’s the season of goodwill so we will let you off for a first offence! :lol: :thumbup:

(And it’s a bit of fun!) :D
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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!

Post by richtel »

One night, a viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said "It's going to rain".
His wife asked "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the Red knowns Rain dear".
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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!

Post by Amor Vincit Omnia »

richtel wrote: Sun Dec 05, 2021 10:07 pm "Because Rudolph the Red knowns Rain dear".
That would be the same Viking who was admitted to hospital to have an extra nose removed that had grown on his leg. He was unable to wear shorts in the summer because he had a very shy knee nose.
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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!

Post by richtel »

^^ groan :lol: :lol:
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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!

Post by Deks »

I think I can get away with this....

What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?

Snowballs 😃
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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!

Post by Deks »

A skeleton goes to a Christmas party and asks for a pint of beer and a mop 😅
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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!

Post by strapline »

Santa has revealed that he voted leave when it came to the Brexit vote. When asked why he said that Brussels left a bad taste in his mouth and were prone to causing a bit of a stink.

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