The best yet!
The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!
- missF
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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!
Who hides in a bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy....
A mince spy....
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- Amor Vincit Omnia
watching you fail in your quest for a “one watch” has been great entertainment
Watchaholic
‘Imprudently spendy’
Thomcat00
Watchaholic
‘Imprudently spendy’
Thomcat00
- Amor Vincit Omnia
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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!
That was very good, Lindsey!
As we are doing visuals as well it seems, this one is quite well-known but makes me laugh:
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- Peteo
Steve
Linguist; retired teacher; pilgrim; apprentice travel writer
Take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but footprints, kill nothing but time
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. (Max Ehrmann)
Linguist; retired teacher; pilgrim; apprentice travel writer
Take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but footprints, kill nothing but time
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. (Max Ehrmann)
- richtel
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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!
Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?
Because their days are numbered!
Because their days are numbered!
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- Amor Vincit Omnia • cincfleet
Rich
"The bad news is that time flies. The good news is that you're the pilot."
"The bad news is that time flies. The good news is that you're the pilot."
- welshlad
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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!
What do you call a snow monster that has a six-pack?
The Abdominal Snowman
The Abdominal Snowman
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- Amor Vincit Omnia
Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future. - Niels Bohr
- strapline
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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!
Santa is talking to his Doctor and says, ‘doc, every time I talk with people I can’t stop saying ho-ho-ho, it’s really bugging me.’ The doc looks at him and thinks for a moment before offering, ‘you know, it sounds like you have an ho-ho-hoveractive thyroid.
Des
Des
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- Amor Vincit Omnia
Does melancholy count as two of your five daily servings?
- richtel
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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!
How much did Santa’s sleigh cost?
Nothing – It was on the house!
Nothing – It was on the house!
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- Amor Vincit Omnia
Rich
"The bad news is that time flies. The good news is that you're the pilot."
"The bad news is that time flies. The good news is that you're the pilot."
Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!
Two snowmen stood in a field. One said to the other "do you smell carrots?"
- Amor Vincit Omnia
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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!
We should rightly put you on the naughty step for repeating a joke told on the previous page. However, it’s the season of goodwill so we will let you off for a first offence!
(And it’s a bit of fun!)
- These users thanked the author Amor Vincit Omnia for the post (total 2):
- Deks • cincfleet
Steve
Linguist; retired teacher; pilgrim; apprentice travel writer
Take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but footprints, kill nothing but time
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. (Max Ehrmann)
Linguist; retired teacher; pilgrim; apprentice travel writer
Take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but footprints, kill nothing but time
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. (Max Ehrmann)
- richtel
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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!
One night, a viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said "It's going to rain".
His wife asked "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the Red knowns Rain dear".
His wife asked "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the Red knowns Rain dear".
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- Amor Vincit Omnia • cincfleet
Rich
"The bad news is that time flies. The good news is that you're the pilot."
"The bad news is that time flies. The good news is that you're the pilot."
- Amor Vincit Omnia
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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!
That would be the same Viking who was admitted to hospital to have an extra nose removed that had grown on his leg. He was unable to wear shorts in the summer because he had a very shy knee nose.
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- Soporsche
Steve
Linguist; retired teacher; pilgrim; apprentice travel writer
Take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but footprints, kill nothing but time
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. (Max Ehrmann)
Linguist; retired teacher; pilgrim; apprentice travel writer
Take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but footprints, kill nothing but time
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. (Max Ehrmann)
Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!
I think I can get away with this....
What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
Snowballs
What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
Snowballs
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- Amor Vincit Omnia • cincfleet • ajax87 • Soporsche
Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!
A skeleton goes to a Christmas party and asks for a pint of beer and a mop
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- Amor Vincit Omnia • Soporsche
- strapline
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Re: The Christmas Cracker Jokes Thread!
Santa has revealed that he voted leave when it came to the Brexit vote. When asked why he said that Brussels left a bad taste in his mouth and were prone to causing a bit of a stink.
Des
Des
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- Amor Vincit Omnia • cincfleet • Soporsche • Deks
Does melancholy count as two of your five daily servings?
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