The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

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richtel
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The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by richtel »

As someone of puerile and simple mind and having spent many a minute thumbing through such noble and celebrated tomes as 'The Meaning of Liff' and 'Roger's Profanisaurus', I thought it might be useful to begin a list of words and associated definitions to which only the poor Watch Savant might recognise and relate to. I've made a start-

Newbling Shuffle- The practised art of deception to ensure a spouse is not alerted to a new watch purchase by precise coordination of spatial or temporal redirection of the delivery (or the spouse) while simultaneously announcing news of the incoming to the whole Internet.

Glowcheck- To involuntarily glance, sometimes repeatedly, at one's watch when moving from bright daylight into a dark environment to verify that the luminous material on the watch face is still there.

Sourstrap grimace- The facial expression adopted on realisation that the perfect sized strap or bracelet lies impossibly and exactly between two buckle holes or links.

Dunnyfidget- The inexplicable urge to rotate a dive watch bezel, fiddle with the clasp or admire the movement through a clear caseback while conducting seated bathroom ablutions.

Lederhoarding- The practice of accumulating over many years huge masses of watch straps, the oldest of which are rumoured to have been cut from Ben Hur's undercrackers.

Stucco Carpi- A layering of treasured and valuable biological matter grown experimentally over several years and on which a proud owner will concentrate when taking photographs for sale.

Listsnicker- The noise emitted by an Ebay user when they suddenly recognise that their 'Watch List' is indeed a list of watches.

I'm sure you can think of more....
Rich

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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by Amor Vincit Omnia »

:lol: :lol: :lol: Brilliant!

Défromagement / Desquesamiento / Sformaggiamento / Ungekäserung - The process of removing Stucco Carpi

Waitrose Peek - A sly glance at the Submariners and little gold Cartiers between looking for the lobster and the Puy lentils.
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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by richtel »

^^ Brilliant!

Watch Roll - The almost audible upwards eye-swivel of bystanders as you line up another watch photo for Facebook.
Rich

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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by Amor Vincit Omnia »

^^ :lol:
I can see it!

Submarination - The art of achieving the impossible by sourcing unobtainable items for incalculable sums.

Deployment [sic] Clasp - A swift hug given to military personnel before they depart on a mission.
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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by richtel »

Pictura nasus - the triangular mark left by one's nose getting too close to the window while trying to read a watch's price tag which has been rudely hidden around the back of the bracelet.
Rich

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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by Deks »

Lol so funny😅
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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by Amor Vincit Omnia »

Wookey Hole - a supposedly secret location where a married man attempts to cache undeclared horological paraphernalia away from the all-seeing Eye of Sauron.

My Precioussss!
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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by richtel »

Spring Bar- Medical term for the near hypothermic condition of post-lockdown outside drinkers
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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by Amor Vincit Omnia »

^^^ :lol:

Dumbo-dore - someone who buys a watch on eBay for twice what the seller paid for it in a sale last week.
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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by missF »

Jambophobia - the irrational fear of door frames that afflicts those wearing new watches

ding - the sound that goes off in the mind of a jambophobic watch owner when they realise that it's not just door frames that can damage their watch
watching you fail in your quest for a “one watch” has been great entertainment

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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by missF »

We can't produce enough steel sports watches - yeah sure we can't produce enough steel sports watches.....
watching you fail in your quest for a “one watch” has been great entertainment

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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by richtel »

:lol: ^^ So true! :lol:

Gibbonswing- the barely perceptable exaggerated movement delivered by the left arm throughout the day to be doubly certain your automatic watch gets wound sufficiently.
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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by missF »

Due diligence - the confluence of wine, eBay, willingness to throw your maximum bid out the window, and a stone cold certainty that this watch is the one you need to complete your collection
watching you fail in your quest for a “one watch” has been great entertainment

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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by Amor Vincit Omnia »

Perpetual Calendar Complication - the Pope, the Patriarch of Constantinople and the Patriarch of Moscow trying to work out when Easter is.

Greubel-Forsey That item on the menu where you had to ask the waiter what it was, and rather wished you hadn't.

Night-watchman The geeky guy in the corner of the bar staring intently at his watch to see whether the date changes at exactly midnight.
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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by missF »

Bezel anxiety - the closest you'll come to a horological emergency. Causes eye squints, nightmares and outbursts.
watching you fail in your quest for a “one watch” has been great entertainment

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