The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Here you can post stuff that is not related to Christopher Ward
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Noush
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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by Noush »

Oh my goodness what a thread. Spent so much time trolling, occasionally with tears of laughter rolling down my cheeks.
It's made my brain so frazzled that it's been impossible to come up with something witty enough to join the discourse!
Well done and thanks to the participants.
Chris
"Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans" : John Lennon.
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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by Amor Vincit Omnia »

Noush wrote: Tue Apr 27, 2021 8:50 am Spent so much time trolling,
Please don't! [-X

Trolling - deliberately posting inflammatory material on a forum. (Keep the goats on this side of the bridge, Kirsten!) :D

Trawling (fig.) - close perusal of often lengthy written material, especially in search of information.

Like a trawler fishing, you see. Common error.
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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by richtel »

Oblivion - The precise location into which that minuscule click spring has launched itself while you were trying to reinstall it.

When the devil rides to work on a sleigh - The precise day and year you find that spring, most likely embedded in one's foot- click springs are spiteful like that.
Rich

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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by Noush »

Yeah Steve, poor choice of word there, I don't think in those terms I think you know :) So OK, trawling indeed!
Chris
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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by missF »

Noush wrote: Tue Apr 27, 2021 8:50 am Oh my goodness what a thread.
Indeed!! I have a feeling it will run and run, but I just want to high-five everyone involved so far. You’ve given me the best shared laugh, and kept me awake at nights. A brilliant experience. Thanks Rich for setting us all off and keeping the standards high.
:clap: :clap: :clap: :lol:
watching you fail in your quest for a “one watch” has been great entertainment
Watchaholic

‘Imprudently spendy’
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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by richtel »

missF wrote: Tue Apr 27, 2021 2:51 pm
Noush wrote: Tue Apr 27, 2021 8:50 am Oh my goodness what a thread.
Indeed!! I have a feeling it will run and run, but I just want to high-five everyone involved so far. You’ve given me the best shared laugh, and kept me awake at nights. A brilliant experience. Thanks Rich for setting us all off and keeping the standards high.
:clap: :clap: :clap: :lol:
It's been a blast hasn't it?! Thank you all for helping it along- I'm sure there are plenty more gems out there. :clap: :D :clap:
Rich

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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by Wis »

Vertical clutch - pressing your stomach to ease the pain from having spent far too much on another wrist trinket.
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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by Tortoise »

^^^ +1. Thanks from me too - I have really enjoyed it.
Great thread Rich and wonderfull, witty contributions everyone! :clap:

Hesalite - Weight watchers crystal.
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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by Tortoise »

W I S W O R L D - An epic science-fiction series on foxtel depicting a dystopian future where watch addiction has reached disturbing new levels in society. In this harrowing new era, Watchaholics are lured further into addiction by being given holidays to any Watch Resort of their choosing. During their stay, they can wear watch(es) from any manufacturer they desire for the duration of their vacation. On return to normal life, their withdrawal from the rush of using high-end watches sees them often selling their possessions and resorting to crime to support their watch habit. The giant Watch Cartels, controlled by cyborg/automatons, run the watch manufacturers and battle for trading turf as well as supremacy over human-kind. The hapless Watch Addicts roam the streets like zombies looking for their next hit….

Watch Cartel - One of a number of automaton controlled organisations running the manufacture and distribution of Watches to the Users.

Pinion - King (Pin) of the Watch Cartel.

Pusher - watch seller on the street supplied by a Dealer.

Beater - Big burly dude on the corner paid by the Cartel to protect the Pushers.

Batons - Weapons used by the Beaters.

Hertz - Injuries suffered at the hands of the Beaters.

Addict / User - A watchaholic, someone who is addicted to watch use.

Minute Track - very small marks on an Addict’s arm betraying their regular watch use.

Chroming - Watch Users addicted to polishing their steel bracelets.

PVD - Vaping (Physical Vapour Deposition).

Syringe Hands - side effect sometime suffered by Users due to having their watch adjusted too tightly for too long.

Crystal Meth - white spirits for cleaning your watch face.

Coke Dial - phone call to your Dealer to score a Coke Bezel watch.

Speed - A particular type of watch supplied by Omega Dealers (aka a Speed-masters)

Coke Bezel - Expensive watches of choice favoured by the more upwardly mobile Users. Induces feelings of well-being, over confidence and euphoria.

Traser - Electric stun watch used by law enforcement.

Panda - Small British police vehicle.

Reverse Panda - Small British getaway vehicle.

Silver Panda - Small British police vehicle ageing gracefully.
Ian
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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by watchaholic »

Are syringe hands even capable of a coke dial???
Time and money? I’ve spent most of mine on booze and women. The rest I just wasted…
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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by richtel »

Fat bars - A cruel referral to chocolate confectionery.

Mis-placed marker - A dry-erase pen in the boardroom that actually works.

Hand Stack - Cheesy teambuilding foofoo popular in sports now deemed unacceptable in the socially-distanced workplace.

Sub Hands - Derogatory reference to ex-presidential Orange Monsters
Rich

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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by magicman »

Tortoise wrote: Wed Apr 28, 2021 4:00 am W I S W O R L D - An epic science-fiction series on foxtel depicting a dystopian future where watch addiction has reached disturbing new levels in society. In this harrowing new era, Watchaholics are lured further into addiction by being given holidays to any Watch Resort of their choosing. During their stay, they can wear watch(es) from any manufacturer they desire for the duration of their vacation. On return to normal life, their withdrawal from the rush of using high-end watches sees them often selling their possessions and resorting to crime to support their watch habit. The giant Watch Cartels, controlled by cyborg/automatons, run the watch manufacturers and battle for trading turf as well as supremacy over human-kind. The hapless Watch Addicts roam the streets like zombies looking for their next hit….

Watch Cartel - One of a number of automaton controlled organisations running the manufacture and distribution of Watches to the Users.

Pinion - King (Pin) of the Watch Cartel.

Pusher - watch seller on the street supplied by a Dealer.

Beater - Big burly dude on the corner paid by the Cartel to protect the Pushers.

Batons - Weapons used by the Beaters.

Hertz - Injuries suffered at the hands of the Beaters.

Addict / User - A watchaholic, someone who is addicted to watch use.

Minute Track - very small marks on an Addict’s arm betraying their regular watch use.

Chroming - Watch Users addicted to polishing their steel bracelets.

PVD - Vaping (Physical Vapour Deposition).

Syringe Hands - side effect sometime suffered by Users due to having their watch adjusted too tightly for too long.

Crystal Meth - white spirits for cleaning your watch face.

Coke Dial - phone call to your Dealer to score a Coke Bezel watch.

Speed - A particular type of watch supplied by Omega Dealers (aka a Speed-masters)

Coke Bezel - Expensive watches of choice favoured by the more upwardly mobile Users. Induces feelings of well-being, over confidence and euphoria.

Traser - Electric stun watch used by law enforcement.

Panda - Small British police vehicle.

Reverse Panda - Small British getaway vehicle.

Silver Panda - Small British police vehicle ageing gracefully.
Fantastic work, just when I thought this thread slowing down.

Regards Steve
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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by missF »

Brilliant tortoise! :lol: :clap:
watching you fail in your quest for a “one watch” has been great entertainment
Watchaholic

‘Imprudently spendy’
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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by jkbarnes »

Choreochronography: noun, the hand/eye coordination necessary to pull off a masterful wrist shot showing off ones watch at it’s finest.

Example:
Did you see @MiniMpi’s latest CWOTD post? His choreochronography skills are off the charts!
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Re: The watchaholic's alternative dictionary

Post by jkbarnes »

TranSUBstantiation: noun, in watch collecting circles, the doctrine holding that ones life, and by extension the enjoyment of that life, is transformed in substance by the addition of a Rolex, although to the non-collector things appear to be unchanged.

Example:
My wife’s doubt of tranSUBstantiation led her to present me with an ultimatum - the Rolex or the marriage. I’ll miss her.
Drew
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