Jokes to cheer us up

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Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by Lavaine »

monkeymax wrote: Mon May 11, 2020 12:28 pm Here's a rather topical comedy routine, rather than a joke:
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ja ... escription
James Veitch is quite funny, but I'm not sure what to make of this. I appreciate his honesty.
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Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by magicman »

Screenshot_20220214-002235.png
Regards Steve
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Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by jkbarnes »

magicman wrote: Mon Feb 14, 2022 1:27 am Screenshot_20220214-002235.png

Regards Steve
I saw this very thing earlier today and literally laughed out loud!
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Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by magicman »

My dad just won £1million pounds on the lottery.
I asked, if he'd ticked the No publicity box, which he hadn't.

So I asked "What, about the begging letters"

"Oh" he said "I'm still going to send them"

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Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by strapline »

^^ ^^
I like that, that has tickled me, Steve.

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Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by JAFO »

As this is a watch forum - I am reminded about my wooden watch. Wooden case, flexible wooden strap. Wooden work.
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Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by Amor Vincit Omnia »

^^^ A friend of mine took his wife to an orchard on her birthday. It was a beautiful day in early autumn and they sat and lay on the grass picnicking and looking up at the fruit laden trees.

She wasn’t too happy because he had promised her an Apple Watch.
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Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by Gar787 »

Hadron Collider…’who’s there?’ Knock-knock!
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Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by magicman »

If your girlfriend, comes home in a white jumpsuit, covered in bee stings and smelling of honey.
She's definitely a Keeper !

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Re: Jokes to cheer us up

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Screenshot_20220225-233218.png

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Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by magicman »

I've bought 75% Share of a Vampire hunting business.
I'm the main Stakeholder.

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Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by JAFO »

I have a friend who mistakenly put daffodil bulbs in a stew thinking they were onions. He's in hospital, and the doctors say he will be out in the spring.
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Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by magicman »

Knock Knock

"Stop the Funeral" !!!

Regards Steve
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Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by Amor Vincit Omnia »

JAFO wrote: Tue Mar 08, 2022 5:41 pm I have a friend who mistakenly put daffodil bulbs in a stew thinking they were onions. He's in hospital, and the doctors say he will be out in the spring.
On a similar theme:

There was a young lady from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
In less than an hour
Her ears were in flower
And her navel was chock full of weeds.

That was the sanitised version. The one we sang at the Boat Club was a little different.
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Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by magicman »

I broke up with a girl years ago, because of her obsession with counting.
I wonder what's she's up to ?

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