I went to an auction and bought Ronnie Barkers autograph for £5 my mate bought Ronnie Corbetts for £3 so it was a good buy for me and a good buy for him .
Regards Steve
Jokes to cheer us up
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magicman
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Re: Jokes to cheer us up
- These users thanked the author magicman for the post (total 4):
- Kansas City Milkman • Chris375 • welshlad • tikkathree
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magicman
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Re: Jokes to cheer us up
My teacher told me years ago, not to worry about spelling, because in the future Ai will autocorrect any mistakes.
And for the advice that teacher gave, I am eternally grapefruit.
Regards Steve
And for the advice that teacher gave, I am eternally grapefruit.
Regards Steve
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richtel
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Re: Jokes to cheer us up
Rich
"The bad news is that time flies. The good news is that you're the pilot."
"The bad news is that time flies. The good news is that you're the pilot."
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magicman
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Re: Jokes to cheer us up
CRICKET
You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.
Each man that's in the side that's in, goes out and when's he's comes in, and the next man goes in, until he's out.
When the side who are in, are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in, goes out, and tries to get those coming in, out.
Sometimes when a team is out, a man may be not out.
When both sides have been in and out, including the not outs.
That's the end of the game.
HOWZAT !
Regards Steve
You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.
Each man that's in the side that's in, goes out and when's he's comes in, and the next man goes in, until he's out.
When the side who are in, are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in, goes out, and tries to get those coming in, out.
Sometimes when a team is out, a man may be not out.
When both sides have been in and out, including the not outs.
That's the end of the game.
HOWZAT !
Regards Steve
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tikkathree
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Re: Jokes to cheer us up
BOOM TISH!
It's hard to relay this when you're chuckling mirthfully
It's hard to relay this when you're chuckling mirthfully
Amor Vincit Omnia wrote: ↑Tue Sep 26, 2023 8:31 pm A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Pat looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Pat explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Pat explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
"It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone."
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- Amor Vincit Omnia
C60 MKI, MKII, MKIII: "some",
C6 & C60 Kingfishers,
C600 Tritechs,
C63 "some",
C65 "some",
C4, C40, C8, C9, C3, C5, C20 & 23FLE
Some other brands
C6 & C60 Kingfishers,
C600 Tritechs,
C63 "some",
C65 "some",
C4, C40, C8, C9, C3, C5, C20 & 23FLE
Some other brands
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egothrasher
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magicman
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Re: Jokes to cheer us up
Very good timing, I'm currently sitting waiting on a mechanic to turn up.
Regards Steve
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magicman
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Re: Jokes to cheer us up
My next door neighbour is a dwarf and not the nicest person I've ever met. Once in Tesco's car park, a woman accidently bumped into his car. He got out to see the damage and started arguing about the tiny scuff on the bumper. The woman apologised profusely that it was an accident but he said "I'm not happy". She said "well which one are you then?"
CW C9 SH21 | C60 Elite GMT | C65 SH21
Bulova Oceanographer Devil Diver
Ernst Benz Chronoscope DLC
Islander ISL-19 "beater"
Phoibos Leviathan DLC
Tag Heuer Aquaracer
Too many watches, not enough time :(
Bulova Oceanographer Devil Diver
Ernst Benz Chronoscope DLC
Islander ISL-19 "beater"
Phoibos Leviathan DLC
Tag Heuer Aquaracer
Too many watches, not enough time :(
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Amor Vincit Omnia
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Re: Jokes to cheer us up
On holiday in Tenerife my mate had a few sherbets and fell asleep on a sun lounger. He woke up with punctuation marks all over his feet. He was comma toes.
Had to have them amputated. His wife divorced him. She was lack toes intolerant.
Had to have them amputated. His wife divorced him. She was lack toes intolerant.
Steve
Linguist; retired teacher; pilgrim; apprentice travel writer
Take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but footprints, kill nothing but time
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. (Max Ehrmann)
Linguist; retired teacher; pilgrim; apprentice travel writer
Take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but footprints, kill nothing but time
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. (Max Ehrmann)
Re: Jokes to cheer us up
^^^^ That will teach him for not toe-ing the line…….
Iain’s Law: Any discussion on the Christopher Ward forum, irrespective of the thread title or subject matter, will eventually lead to someone mentioning the Bel Canto if the thread continues for long enough.