Jokes to cheer us up

Here you can post stuff that is not related to Christopher Ward
User avatar
magicman
Trusted Seller
Trusted Seller
Posts: 3838
Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2009 4:45 pm
CW-watches: 2
Location: Loughton, Essex

Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by magicman »

Screenshot_20230305_223539_Instagram.jpg
Regards Steve
These users thanked the author magicman for the post:
Chris375
Selling
CW C8 Revival

CW 12 Glacier Blue
User avatar
magicman
Trusted Seller
Trusted Seller
Posts: 3838
Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2009 4:45 pm
CW-watches: 2
Location: Loughton, Essex

Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by magicman »

My wife asked me why I was spending so much time on my phone, I explained, I was looking for cheap flights.
She got very excited, which is strange, as she's never showed any interest in Darts before !

Regards Steve
These users thanked the author magicman for the post (total 4):
Amor Vincit OmniaThegreymanrkovarsNoush
Selling
CW C8 Revival

CW 12 Glacier Blue
User avatar
magicman
Trusted Seller
Trusted Seller
Posts: 3838
Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2009 4:45 pm
CW-watches: 2
Location: Loughton, Essex

Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by magicman »

I was walking past, someone's back garden, and I heard a crowd of people shouting "13, 13, 13, 13"
I wondered what they were up to, so I found a hole in the fence and looked in.
Someone poked me in the eye, and they all shouted "14, 14, 14, 14".

A lesson in minding your own business!

Regards Steve
These users thanked the author magicman for the post:
Stif
Selling
CW C8 Revival

CW 12 Glacier Blue
User avatar
magicman
Trusted Seller
Trusted Seller
Posts: 3838
Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2009 4:45 pm
CW-watches: 2
Location: Loughton, Essex

Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by magicman »

Screenshot_20230807-200437.png

Regards Steve
These users thanked the author magicman for the post (total 3):
Amor Vincit OmniaChris375Stif
Selling
CW C8 Revival

CW 12 Glacier Blue
DavidCM
Senior
Senior
Posts: 150
Joined: Sat May 27, 2023 1:10 pm

Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by DavidCM »

pootin.jpeg
self explanatory
User avatar
Amor Vincit Omnia
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 33602
Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2011 7:34 pm
CW-watches: 4
Location: Norfolk, UK

Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by Amor Vincit Omnia »

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Pat looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Pat explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Pat explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

"It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone."
These users thanked the author Amor Vincit Omnia for the post (total 4):
welshladBahnstormer_vRSthomcat00Stif
Steve
Linguist; retired teacher; pilgrim; apprentice travel writer

Take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but footprints, kill nothing but time


Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. (Max Ehrmann)
User avatar
missF
CW Forum Poet Laureate
CW Forum Poet Laureate
Posts: 11701
Joined: Thu Mar 06, 2014 2:59 pm
CW-watches: 3
Location: Edinburgh

Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by missF »

^^^ that’s Terrible Steve #-o And also brilliant! :lol: The tension of not knowing how or where it was going to end was bruising :clap:
These users thanked the author missF for the post (total 2):
Amor Vincit OmniaStif
User avatar
iain
Trusted Seller
Trusted Seller
Posts: 3045
Joined: Sun Mar 01, 2015 3:13 pm
CW-watches: 1

Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by iain »

^^^^^ It’s that Belgian beer he was drinking at lunchtime. Either that or the moules frites have sent him delirious.

Re-reading the joke, it might even be a combination of both.
These users thanked the author iain for the post (total 2):
Amor Vincit OmniamissF
Iain’s Law: Any discussion on the Christopher Ward forum, irrespective of the thread title or subject matter, will eventually lead to someone mentioning the Bel Canto if the thread continues for long enough.
User avatar
watchaholic
Senior Forumgod
Senior Forumgod
Posts: 1895
Joined: Tue Mar 05, 2019 12:28 am
CW-watches: 4
Location: NE North Dakota, USA

Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by watchaholic »

If thats what Belgian beer does, I’m gonna git me some a that! On a more serious note @Amor Vincit Omnia thats the best/worst I’ve heard in quite some time. :clap:
Time and money? I’ve spent most of mine on booze and women. The rest I just wasted…
Dwight
JAFO
Senior Forumgod
Senior Forumgod
Posts: 4411
Joined: Wed Jul 15, 2020 3:59 pm

Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by JAFO »

The police have worked out who cut down the sycamore. They said it was tree fellers.:D
These users thanked the author JAFO for the post:
Stif
exHowfener
Senior Forumgod
Senior Forumgod
Posts: 1004
Joined: Thu May 28, 2020 6:26 pm
CW-watches: 1

Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by exHowfener »

As it's Halloween ...

A lone traveler is walking through the dark wood when he comes across a clearing. Three witches ate stirring a bubbling cauldron and chanting.

Three witches: "Hubble bubble, boil and toil"

Nervously, the traveler approaches the trio

First witch: "Yes, we can"

Traveler: "I hear you can see into the future"
I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left
User avatar
Amor Vincit Omnia
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 33602
Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2011 7:34 pm
CW-watches: 4
Location: Norfolk, UK

Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by Amor Vincit Omnia »

Posted by a friend fiend on Facebook.
IMG_0776.jpeg
These users thanked the author Amor Vincit Omnia for the post (total 3):
Bahnstormer_vRSwelshladrichtel
Steve
Linguist; retired teacher; pilgrim; apprentice travel writer

Take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but footprints, kill nothing but time


Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. (Max Ehrmann)
User avatar
iain
Trusted Seller
Trusted Seller
Posts: 3045
Joined: Sun Mar 01, 2015 3:13 pm
CW-watches: 1

Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by iain »

^^^^^ That’s why you should always make an effort in the morning. If you die, what you’re wearing will be your ghost outfit forever.
Iain’s Law: Any discussion on the Christopher Ward forum, irrespective of the thread title or subject matter, will eventually lead to someone mentioning the Bel Canto if the thread continues for long enough.
User avatar
magicman
Trusted Seller
Trusted Seller
Posts: 3838
Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2009 4:45 pm
CW-watches: 2
Location: Loughton, Essex

Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by magicman »

Screenshot_20231031_182834_WhatsApp.jpg

Regards Steve
These users thanked the author magicman for the post (total 4):
Amor Vincit OmniaMikkei4Chris375JAFO
Selling
CW C8 Revival

CW 12 Glacier Blue
DavidCM
Senior
Senior
Posts: 150
Joined: Sat May 27, 2023 1:10 pm

Re: Jokes to cheer us up

Post by DavidCM »

Screenshot_20231027-174823.png
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post