I'm back: an apology and an explanation.

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xtriple
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I'm back: an apology and an explanation.

Post by xtriple »

Been away for a while (if any of you noticed) and thought you all deserved an explanation as to why. I was utterly out of control! There, I've said it (the first step to recovery). Every waking (and quite a few sleeping) moments was spent drooling over watches, plotting the next acquisition, planning where to get the money from, how to hide just how much I was spending from the dearly beloved.

It was brought home to me clearly (and set the gears in motion for me to have a proper think) when, just before Christmas, I was talking to a friend and we were joking that "The house and the cars are paid for but my watch is on HP!" At the time, it was funny, but later...

How utterly bloody ridiculous!

Since I joined the forum in August, there has hardly been a week where I haven't bought a watch, sometimes two, sometimes more and only one week (that I can remember) where I didn't get another watch. If a new watch wasn't incoming, I felt dreadful and had to get on the case quickly.

I was up to over 40 watches in 4 months! A lot of them I kept quiet about as hiding things from your friends is part of an addiction/obsession. I have now given away a few to friends and family and am back to under thirty (!) and intend to reduce this number further. I do have an obsessive personality and suffer with OCD and Manic Depression (capitals deserved!) and watches had become a "Mania". I had to get myself under control.

It's really strange: I can go on other watch fora and be relatively unaffected: they don't instantly make me want to spend a fortune on other watches, while I come on here, where most of you I consider "friends" and the urge is immense! So I blame you lot :D .

It was really brought home to me when I realised how hard I was plotting to get a new Rolex. I was even contemplating selling my car ( it would buy a couple of nice pieces!) or forking out another £125 per month on 0% finance at Goldsmiths - utterly, stupidly, ridiculous! :(

So I banned myself from here for one month. Also, banned myself from buying a watch for a month, to see if I could get myself under control. I could (and did) go on TZ, but not much and made very few posts, but necessary if I want to sell some watches on there in the future to not appear to be a "user". Strange, but I really don't get the same buzz on other fora... Odd, but I can spend time on there, in the SC and not really get the same old desires to spend unless you lot have got me set on a mission first - not blaming you guys at all, perhaps it's just a desire for me to be accepted into your club, to be seen as a "Proper watch guy" that set me off on such a destructive path.

Also, there were one or two people on here that were begining to bug me, being accused of "Spamming" **** me right off and I was vaguely aware that I was "Over-reacting" as, when all's said and done, this is just an internet forum with "Virtual friends" ( I hope you don't mind that I honestly consider most of you so?) and not "real life".

Anyway, done it now. A whole month away and it did get easier. Also, no new watches for over a month and no great desire for any either! I consider this a succesful experiment... phew!

So. I'm back (if you'll let me come back?) and the real test will come over the next few weeks weeks if I can continue to resist spending like money itself is going out of fashion!

I apologies to one and all for just disappearing without a word, but the decision was made on New Years day (when I sobered up!) and it was too late to change the decision. I Hope to become a "Proper watch guy" in the fullness of time without spending bloody thousands weekly on this hobby/obsession.

Yes, I know I'm a sad, lonely old Manic Obsessive but I am trying, honest!
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Re: I'm back: an apology and an explanation.

Post by Jape »

Welcome back! :) You were indeed missed. Sorry to hear about the problems, but very nice to hear you've got yourself sorted.

Even if I don't have quite so serious a tendency to buy new pieces, I understand how reading posts here can actually get you seriously wanting to buy...and buy. It's not like the comments here really are against buying. :D

Anyway, nice to hear you are on the right path now!
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Re: I'm back: an apology and an explanation.

Post by scooter »

Welcome back you silly old bugger.

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Re: I'm back: an apology and an explanation.

Post by Amor Vincit Omnia »

Great to have you back, Dave! We've all missed you...and Lorn...and Phoebs...and Chester...and the :silent: :silent: :silent: :silent: :silent: :silent: :silent:
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Re: I'm back: an apology and an explanation.

Post by castle »

Firstly good to have you back.

Secondly thank you for being so honest- it would have been very easy to just slide back and hope nobody noticed.

Finally reading about your journey has made me reevaluate how much time I spend on here once more. I previously had taken part in a "technology fast" with a few friends for a week. No internet/tv/newspaper. It was primarily done for spiritual reasons (we all go to the same church and have been starting to think about our relationship with God more seriously) but I found it of great personal benefit beyond what I had expected. I may need to think about doing something similar again as there is a danger that we get our self esteem from what watches we own and how much we know and/or talk about them.

So thank you and all the best with your journey from here.
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Re: I'm back: an apology and an explanation.

Post by mabotham »

You have been missed as one of the regulars mate
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Re: I'm back: an apology and an explanation.

Post by highway62 »

Welcome back! :D
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Re: I'm back: an apology and an explanation.

Post by f1colin »

First, great to see you back

Second, your honesty is refreshing. Sometimes we do have that reality check and I also recognise some of your symptoms - I've gone from 1 CW to 9 with another pending (FLE Red 2012) in 5 months. I also like this place and it can be a bit addicitve.

Trouble is, watches are only one of my weaknesses!

Last, I think you are the only person I've heard from who stuck to a new years resolution fully throughout January! Well done....
f1colin

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Re: I'm back: an apology and an explanation.

Post by Kip »

First thing…..Welcome Back!

Second ….…..we consider everyone family, so no explanation or apology is necessary.

Third…………..I am very happy that you feel comfortable enough with us here that you are able to share your thoughts and addictions so that we may help.

Despite my musings about always buying another watch and what’s next etc….this can be an addiction and inspire a compulsive and OCD behaviour. The trick is to separate the fun from reality. Those levels will vary for each of us.
You are fortunate that you have recognized the problem and addressed it before going completely out of control to a point of ruin.

“The Asylum” is a forum for fun, information and learning…not to mention a few meds and treatments now and then. I hope that during your adventure into other forums you realize that where you can get the most help is here.
You can always blame me for the (what you shall now call) negative encouragement. It is what I do. I shall adjust your meds to help you get through these troubled times.

In the meantime…jump back in, and if you feel the urge…tell Lorne….I am sure she will set you straight!
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Re: I'm back: an apology and an explanation.

Post by Aifo »

Welcome back. And you are missed. Your opinion on topics watch related or not are treasured so keep chipping in!
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Re: I'm back: an apology and an explanation.

Post by mikem »

welcome back chap. :thumbup:

I have been on this forum a little bit longer but I dont post half as much as you but I have made some friends on here so regard this place great to be with like minded chaps, so welcome back again...........Oh and dont take any of those nice peices to bits, you think you got OCD :oops:
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Re: I'm back: an apology and an explanation.

Post by CornishDave »

Blimey that looks a bit serious! Hope you manage to control the spend for the rest of this year, and still enjoy the camaraderie on here. I only have 12 watches and never buy more than 3 in a year so I am succeeding!
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Re: I'm back: an apology and an explanation.

Post by Mr Rick »

Welcome back Mr X,

I'll bet some of us see ourselves in what you say. I know I do. And I'll take your comments as a sober warning of how close I have come to putting myself in the same situation. Thanks for the wake up call.

Take it slow and easy. Good to have you back.
Rick


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Re: I'm back: an apology and an explanation.

Post by watchlover1 »

I take my hat off to you for the honesty :D I only had about 13 watches but that was enough to get a lambasting from friends who think its weird to have anything above 1 or 2. Ive sold a few recently but come to the conclusion that we will never quite have all the watches we desire!I am trying to stick to the ones I will actually wear on a regular basis...that may not help you but its one tip I offer when considering a watch purchase.
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Re: I'm back: an apology and an explanation.

Post by Amor Vincit Omnia »

watchlover1 wrote:I only had about 13 watches but that was enough to get a lambasting from friends who think its weird to have anything above 1 or 2.
I got very much the same from a friend the other week. She seems to think 40 pairs of shoes is OK,though, along with a cabinet stuffed with about 100 cutesy little glass animals!! :lol:
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