White House Press Release!!

The President is extremely concerned about the political situation in Africa. If Iran invades Peru, Japan will be bound to retaliate and Australia will be forced to close its southern border with Sweden. The whole area could become a tinderbox.

tempusmaximus wrote:I was visiting my daughter last night , when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper .

"This is the 21st century " she said , " We don't waste money on newspapers , here use my Ipad "

Did you miss the last line?


"That fly never knew what hit it!"

FloridaPhil wrote:That fly never knew what hit it!"

Yep I probably did , it sounds a lot better with that last line

^^there's me thinking it was a joke about toilet roll!

missF wrote:there's me thinking it was a joke about toilet roll!

missF wrote:^^there's me thinking it was a joke about toilet roll!

Me too!

Sometimes jokes that go wrong are funnier than those that don't!

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms ?

One is a good year , the other a great year .

Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers ?

In case he got an hole in one .

Why does Santa have such a large sack ?

Because he only comes once a year .

Golfer - " I would move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course " .

Caddy - " Try heaven , you've already moved most of the earth " .

tempusmaximus wrote:Golfer - " I would move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course " .

Caddy - " Try heaven , you've already moved most of the earth " .

Ah! I see you have been watching me play then Bern. I am a master, I can what that ball with me bat for hours and I never lose it in any of those annoying little holes that keep cropping up.!

Sent from my ONE A2003 using Tapatalk

smegwina wrote:

tempusmaximus wrote:Golfer - " I would move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course " .

Caddy - " Try heaven , you've already moved most of the earth " .

Ah! I see you have been watching me play then Bern. I am a master, I can what that ball with me bat for hours and I never lose it in any of those annoying little holes that keep cropping up.!

Sent from my ONE A2003 using Tapatalk[/quote


I agree , those holes can be very annoying , and don't they spoil the green .

tempusmaximus wrote:Ah! I see you have been watching me play then Bern. I am a master, I can what that ball with me bat for hours and I never lose it in any of those annoying little holes that keep cropping up.!

The first time I went to play on my local course , they ended up with four more bunkers .

The last time I went , my caddy said I had improved , I was getting much closer to the ball