Dear Andrew,
Thank you for bringing your concerns to our attention. First let me say how pleased I am to know you’re on your third Christopher Ward Watch. We value repeat customers and recognize how essential they are to the success of our brand. Let me also say how happy I am to know you are thrilled with your C63. We’re really proud of the new 36mm case size and the new direction it represents for Christopher Ward.
I’m disappointed to hear you are not, however, as happy with the metaphysical enjoyment realized with the addition of the C63 to your life. We take the specifications and performance of our watches, both physical and metaphysical, very seriously. In fact, at Christopher Ward we take pride in offering industry leading metaphysical value in all our watches. We strive to offer Platonic satisfaction at a Mr. Rogers price point. A watch failing to perform within advertised specifications would be eligible for return under the 60/60 guarantee.
I’m afraid, however, your C63 is performing well within spec and is therefore not eligible for return. A quick review of the Christopher Ward Forum has revealed at least fifteen distinct posts by you alluding to deep contentment and overall happiness with your new watch in accordance with your own expectations, as illustrated by your comments about other members’ C63s. Additionally, the compliments and posts of support from fellow forum members in reference to your C63 have clearly added an additional level of metaphysical contentment to your experience.
While your C63 has clearly not helped you achieve full enlightenment with a release from the suffering brought about by material desires in the physical world, it is performing well within spec. I’d be remiss if I didn’t remind you that the C63 line was developed as a #GODO watch, not “The One” watch. As made painfully obvious by the number and variety of new straps you’ve purchased for your C63, it is clearly functioning within metaphysical #GODO parameters.
While I know this might be disappointing to you, allow me to end on a positive note. If it’s true horological enlightenment you seek, with one watch to free you from the earthly desire to add to your collection, one watch to rule them all if you will, keep an eye out for our next edition of Loupe. We’ve worked with the Elvin smiths of Eregion to create a new watch that will knock your socks off. The finishing work was completed at our new atelier in Mount Doom. I think you’ll find this watch quite precious and never want to be without it.
With warmest regards,
Mike
*obviously this is a joke and I didn’t get this email from Mike France. Let me state this anyway, just in case.